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There are moments in life that shatter us. No words can soften their weight. For those who have lost a child, a parent, or someone beloved, grief can feel like a darkness with no end. The world carries on, yet inside, everything has stopped. In those hollow hours, many people ask: Why do we suffer so much when those we love are taken from us? Is there any wisdom that can meet a pain this deep?

Buddhism does not offer shallow comfort or distant promises. Instead, it offers something much more courageous: a clear-eyed understanding of life’s impermanence and the path to peace that lies through—rather than around—suffering.

In this article, we will share one of the most profound and poignant stories from the Buddhist tradition: the story of Kisa Gotami and the mustard seed. Her journey from unbearable grief to spiritual insight illuminates one of the central teachings of the Buddha—the truth of impermanence (anicca) and the path to liberation.


📖 The Story of Kisa Gotami

A Mother’s Grief

Long ago, in the time of the Buddha, there lived a young woman named Kisa Gotami. She was gentle and kind, but life had not been easy for her. She came from a humble background, and her name “Kisa” meant “thin” or “frail”—a reflection of the poverty into which she was born. Despite her struggles, she found joy when she married and gave birth to a beautiful son. For the first time, her world felt full and radiant.

But joy, like all things, is fleeting.

One day, her beloved child fell ill. Despite her desperate care, he passed away. Her heart, which had been full of love and laughter, broke into pieces. Refusing to accept what had happened, Kisa Gotami clung to her son’s lifeless body, convinced there must be a cure, a remedy, something that could bring him back.

She wrapped the small corpse in a cloth and ran from house to house, weeping, pleading with neighbors, friends, and strangers alike:
“Please, do you know a medicine that can bring my child back to life?”

Most people turned away, or gently told her the truth she could not yet bear: death is final. But one compassionate elder took pity and said,
“Go to the Buddha. Perhaps he can help you.”

The Buddha’s Compassionate Task

With a flicker of hope, Kisa Gotami brought her child’s body to the Buddha. Kneeling before him, she begged,
“Please, Blessed One, give me a medicine to bring my son back to life.”

The Buddha looked at her with eyes full of compassion and understanding. He did not speak of doctrine or scold her for her denial. Instead, he gently said:
“There is a way. But first, you must bring me a handful of mustard seeds.”

Kisa Gotami’s eyes lit up. Mustard seeds were common in every kitchen—surely this was within reach.
“But,” the Buddha added, “you must collect them from a household that has never known death. Not a single member of the family—child, parent, grandparent, or servant—must have died.”

Grateful and determined, she ran from house to house.

The Truth Revealed

At the first house, they welcomed her warmly and were ready to give the mustard seeds. But when she asked,
“Has anyone in this home ever died?”
They answered, “Yes, our father passed away last year.”

She thanked them and moved on.

At the next house, she heard of a mother who had lost her baby. At the next, a brother killed in a war. At another, a grandmother who had passed away in sleep.

Every house she entered had known death.

As the day wore on, her frantic hope began to fade. Slowly, the realization dawned: death is universal. Not a single family, rich or poor, old or young, had been untouched by it.

She returned to the Buddha—not with mustard seeds, but with a changed heart. Her son was still gone. But something within her had awakened.

From Sorrow to Awakening

Kisa Gotami laid her child to rest. She no longer clung to the impossible. Instead, she asked to follow the Buddha’s path. She ordained as a nun and devoted herself to the Dharma—the way of truth.

Through years of practice and meditation, she came to deeply understand the truth the Buddha had shown her: all conditioned things are impermanent. Grief softened into wisdom, and eventually, she attained liberation.

From a woman consumed by sorrow, Kisa Gotami became a radiant example of spiritual strength—a testament to the Buddha’s teaching that even the most shattered heart can become a vessel of awakening.


☸️ What This Story Teaches Us

The Teaching of Impermanence (Anicca)

At the heart of Kisa Gotami’s story lies anicca, the Buddhist teaching of impermanence. Everything in life—our bodies, our emotions, our relationships, even our breath—is subject to change. Nothing lasts forever.

We suffer not because things change, but because we resist that change. Kisa’s anguish was not just from the loss of her child—it was from her refusal to accept that loss. This is a deeply human response. But the Buddha, with great compassion, offered her a path to see reality clearly.

Grief Is Part of the Human Condition

Kisa Gotami’s journey also reminds us that grief is not a failure of faith or practice—it is part of being human. Even enlightened beings understand sorrow. What matters is how we meet it.

By walking from house to house, Kisa came to see that she was not alone in her suffering. This is the wisdom of shared humanity. We may believe our pain is unique, but in truth, everyone carries wounds. Understanding this can soften the edges of our own grief and awaken compassion for others.

The Power of Compassionate Teaching

The Buddha could have told Kisa the truth directly: “Your child is dead. Let go.” But he knew that truth, delivered without care, can harden the heart. Instead, he guided her to discover the truth herself, through her own experience.

This is a powerful model for how we can support others in pain—not by preaching or fixing, but by offering gentle space for them to awaken in their own time.


🌍 Why This Story Matters Today

We Still Cling to What Cannot Stay

In today’s world, we may no longer carry bodies through villages, but we still grieve, still deny, still hope for miracles when faced with loss. We are taught to chase happiness and avoid sorrow, yet life continues to bring change.

Whether we mourn a loved one, the loss of a relationship, a dream that didn’t come true, or the passing of youth, impermanence is always with us. The story of Kisa Gotami gives us a way to face this truth—not with bitterness, but with awakening.

A Gentle Mirror for Our Own Suffering

How many times have we cried out like Kisa, searching for something to fix our pain? How often do we believe our suffering is singular, too heavy for others to understand?

Her story reminds us that we are not alone. Everyone has known loss. And within that shared sorrow lies a powerful truth: by accepting impermanence, we open ourselves to peace.

A Call to Compassion

If we remember that every person we meet has suffered—as Kisa learned—we begin to live differently. We listen more. We judge less. We soften.

The Buddha didn’t just teach meditation or philosophy—he taught a way of being. A way of meeting the world with clarity and love, especially when it hurts.


🧘 Walking the Path Through Stories

Kisa Gotami’s journey shows us that wisdom doesn’t come from avoiding suffering—it comes from walking through it with open eyes and a soft heart.

The loss of her child did not break her forever. Instead, it became the beginning of her spiritual path. That same potential exists in each of us. Whatever pain you carry, know this: there is a way forward.

It may begin with a single step. A question. A story.

As the Buddha said:
“All conditioned things are impermanent. When one sees this with wisdom, one turns away from suffering. This is the path to purification.”Dhammapada, verse 277

Let this story stay in your heart this week.
And if someone near you is grieving, may you offer them the same compassion the Buddha offered Kisa Gotami—not answers, but presence.